Or else you’ll wind up like me.
Yesterday I was going to talk all about the advantages and disadvantages of using bikes as the primary means of transportation in a northwestern plains climate, buuuut something came up. That something, my friends, was a very sneaky computer virus.
Coming from me, that is a great compliment to this virus. And I feel kind of bad about that because I really don’t want to compliment it because it has been such a horrific pain in my ass for the last 12 hours. On the other hand, maybe if I give it praise, it will bugger off… (Does that make me sound Brittish? I’m not Brittish.)
Anyway, right, coming from me, that’s a compliment.
Yesterday I was going to talk all about the advantages and disadvantages of using bikes as the primary means of transportation in a northwestern plains climate, buuuut something came up. That something, my friends, was a very sneaky computer virus.
Coming from me, that is a great compliment to this virus. And I feel kind of bad about that because I really don’t want to compliment it because it has been such a horrific pain in my ass for the last 12 hours. On the other hand, maybe if I give it praise, it will bugger off… (Does that make me sound Brittish? I’m not Brittish.)
Anyway, right, coming from me, that’s a compliment.
You see, I am no novice when it comes to computer viruses. I am skilled in the ways of booting my computer up in safe mode and running virus scans and deleting things from the registry and being kind of computer-ninja-awesome like that. (I am like a giant gun made of awesome usually, when it comes to deleting viruses… I just really suck at virus defensive strategies.)
Anyway, I’ve been meaning to completely reinstall my operating system, but I decided I would wait until I got home for break so I could back up all of my pictures and important documents and whatnots on a family computer. Well I mean, that’s only in about a week, so I’ve been running my computer in safe mode with networking for the past… 5ish days, hoping that I would be able to outsmart this virus by simply never having to come in contact with it.
But somehow it leaked. Into safe mode with networking. And as soon as I realized I wasn’t safe I started to try to actually fix it (like I should have been doing all along) and called up my dad and hoped that he could read directions off to me after researching the virus. But then everything stopped working just like it did in regular mode.
So this is pretty much how it went:
My Dad: Try opening this program.
Me: It doesn’t work. It says it’s infected
My Dad: Okay, look for this file.
Me: Found it.
My Dad: Copy it and rename it
Me:Mhmm…..
My Dad: Open it
Me: It doesn’t work. It says it’s infected.
My Dad: Okay, go to the start menu.
Me: Okay.
My Dad: And click “Run”
Me: Kay.
My Dad: And enter this program.
Me: …
My Dad: And then type in the name of this thing.
Me: Wait…
My Dad: …
Me: It doesn’t work. It says it’s infected.
And so on and so forth. He had to go to bed. Parents are wimps at staying up. But then again, I was always the last kid asleep at slumber parties who would jump on people and try to make them talk even though they very clearly weren’t conscious. I mean, I never pranked the sleeping people, but I wasn’t very happy that they were asleep. It’s called a sleep-over because you sleep when it’s fucking over. Come on people.
Anyway….
Anyway, I’ve been meaning to completely reinstall my operating system, but I decided I would wait until I got home for break so I could back up all of my pictures and important documents and whatnots on a family computer. Well I mean, that’s only in about a week, so I’ve been running my computer in safe mode with networking for the past… 5ish days, hoping that I would be able to outsmart this virus by simply never having to come in contact with it.
But somehow it leaked. Into safe mode with networking. And as soon as I realized I wasn’t safe I started to try to actually fix it (like I should have been doing all along) and called up my dad and hoped that he could read directions off to me after researching the virus. But then everything stopped working just like it did in regular mode.
So this is pretty much how it went:
My Dad: Try opening this program.
Me: It doesn’t work. It says it’s infected
My Dad: Okay, look for this file.
Me: Found it.
My Dad: Copy it and rename it
Me:Mhmm…..
My Dad: Open it
Me: It doesn’t work. It says it’s infected.
My Dad: Okay, go to the start menu.
Me: Okay.
My Dad: And click “Run”
Me: Kay.
My Dad: And enter this program.
Me: …
My Dad: And then type in the name of this thing.
Me: Wait…
My Dad: …
Me: It doesn’t work. It says it’s infected.
And so on and so forth. He had to go to bed. Parents are wimps at staying up. But then again, I was always the last kid asleep at slumber parties who would jump on people and try to make them talk even though they very clearly weren’t conscious. I mean, I never pranked the sleeping people, but I wasn’t very happy that they were asleep. It’s called a sleep-over because you sleep when it’s fucking over. Come on people.
Anyway….
It’s really depressing. No Facebook. No instant messenger. No talking to The Boy. This is some serious super-mega-sad-face shit right here. Screw starving children in third world countries and AIDS victims. I am dealing with some serious issues here.
UPDATE: I FIXED IT I FIXED IT!!!!!! I AM A SUPERGENIUS AND MY DAD HELPED AND WE ARE AN AWESOME SUPERGENIUS TEAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now I can post about bikes.
UPDATE: I FIXED IT I FIXED IT!!!!!! I AM A SUPERGENIUS AND MY DAD HELPED AND WE ARE AN AWESOME SUPERGENIUS TEAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now I can post about bikes.
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