Snack Hole
Today I Engaged My Printer In Conversation
Also....
And that was what today was like.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Reason You Hate Me
There could be other reasons and goodness knows, I'm probably not the one to ask or tell about these things for the most part, seeing as how I'm me and all, and that could be really awkward, but if you've just recently started hating me, this is probably why.
It seems that as of late, all of my good and bad moods are exactly in sync with the opposite moods of my friends.
It's like I'm a chameleon. But an opposites chameleon. It's like everyone is blue and then I step in front of everyone and my entire body turns red, just like I'm trying to piss them off or something.
It seems that as of late, all of my good and bad moods are exactly in sync with the opposite moods of my friends.
It's like I'm a chameleon. But an opposites chameleon. It's like everyone is blue and then I step in front of everyone and my entire body turns red, just like I'm trying to piss them off or something.
This is rather inconvenient.
For example, today was awesome, and this is how I felt today:
For example, today was awesome, and this is how I felt today:
The sun was shining, I'd had a killer-awesome voice lesson, and I had cookie dough ice cream, and I'm seeing Spring Awakening tomorrow, and I corrected my archaeology professor because he messed up his stratigraphy diagrams. All in all, pretty awesome.
But it seems like everyone else in the world had a really REALLY shitty day today. One thing after another. Unfathomably shitty. Apparently the world was just covered in a terrible ickygrossness of bad things. This is how everyone else felt today:
It's really awkward being happy around people who are unhappy. Like..... I want to be unhappy with them just so that I don't feel like such a bitch for not sharing their sadness and being able to relate. But at the same time I don't want to be sad. For two reasons.
One: Duh. Being sad is sad. And sadness isn't happiness. And happiness is preferable.
Two: Because this little law works the other way around too. Sometimes, when every other thing in the world is red, my chameleon has a chance of turning blue.
It's always that one day that everything is going terribly for me that everything is going splendidly for everyone else.
And then I look even more pathetic by comparison. Because everyone is happy.
Everyone.
Except me.
And then I feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing at me and talking about what a little baby I am behind my back. It's silly, I know. And even then I know it's silly, but I don't care because in that moment, it's true. And then it's like everyone is being happy just to spite me.
And then I tell myself that I'm being irrational. But that doesn't honestly make me want to be more rational. It just makes me want to cry more.
And it's fucking annoying. In fact, that's probably why you hate me.
P.S. It could also just be because I weird you out.... But if you're actually reading this then it's probably not the case... Or you enjoy it or something.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Hallucinations?
Gah.
0.0
I am back at school and it's like.... woah.
Time........
Look, I'm a lion!
Space?
Soup.
Reading chapters?
!@#$%^&
Dinosaurs?
Blogging...?
Sleep.... No.... Sleep.....
HALLUCINATIONS?
Well this is pathetic. And I promise I'm working on a new blog. One with pictures. :D
0.0
I am back at school and it's like.... woah.
Time........
Look, I'm a lion!
Space?
Soup.
Reading chapters?
!@#$%^&
Dinosaurs?
Blogging...?
Sleep.... No.... Sleep.....
HALLUCINATIONS?
Well this is pathetic. And I promise I'm working on a new blog. One with pictures. :D
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Pool
So I've been doing some thinking about the game of pool. And how it would be if the board literally were a pool as its name would suggest.
But before we get ahead of ourselves, let's think about all of the similarities there ALREADY are between pool tables and pools:
1. You can put balls in them.
2. Those little pockets resemble those little filters that they have on the sides of the pool. You know the ones. The ones that your favorite small pool toys got stuck in and that you had to drag mommy and daddy back to to take off the caps and look inside of because you won't stop crying because you happen to be very attached to your pool toys. And there are really only about 6 of those pockets, but you have to look in every single one anyway.
3. Balls are/can be pool toys.
4. The green area is sometimes called a Bed, like an ocean bed, which yeah, I guess doesn't count because it's a pool not an ocean. But still.
5. Anchor, Deadweight, Fish, Fluke, Jaws, Pool Shark, Sewer, Sink, Squirt, Stroke, and Swan are all pool/water terms in both senses.
Anyway, I'll get back to this. Remember this.
This is a pool table, in case you're unfamiliar. You may have heard it called "Billiards". But if you know it as "Billiards" and not as "pool" then you are undoubtedly a snobby Brittish person, and wouldn't appreciate what I have to say anyway.
So I was looking at this pool table and I was sort of kind of halfway playing pool, and I was wondering whether it would be easier or harder if you added more pockets. Sure, you'd do away with the colored balls quicker, BUT you'd probably accidentally lose the white ball more often. Which sucks.
So I thought of putting holes between the holes:
And then I thought of putting holes in between THOSE holes:
Until finally, the sides are made of nothing but hole, and you just have an elevated platform and a little half-pipe surrounding it, like those gutters in bowling.
OR, and get this, like one of those infinity pools. (This is why you had to remember pools btw). You know, those pools that you can install on top of buildings and they look like there's water running off the edge of the roof and like you might accidentally swim out/off, but you won't because there's a gutter just off the edge of the roof and a few feet down to catch any water or people that might escape. Like that.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, would be an awesome pool game:
AND you would never have to call your corners/shots ever again. You'd just try to get the balls out. Like the rest of us who play pool and aren't assholes about it.
And you would have nothing to rest your hand on to aim. Ha. Ha.
But before we get ahead of ourselves, let's think about all of the similarities there ALREADY are between pool tables and pools:
1. You can put balls in them.
2. Those little pockets resemble those little filters that they have on the sides of the pool. You know the ones. The ones that your favorite small pool toys got stuck in and that you had to drag mommy and daddy back to to take off the caps and look inside of because you won't stop crying because you happen to be very attached to your pool toys. And there are really only about 6 of those pockets, but you have to look in every single one anyway.
3. Balls are/can be pool toys.
4. The green area is sometimes called a Bed, like an ocean bed, which yeah, I guess doesn't count because it's a pool not an ocean. But still.
5. Anchor, Deadweight, Fish, Fluke, Jaws, Pool Shark, Sewer, Sink, Squirt, Stroke, and Swan are all pool/water terms in both senses.
Anyway, I'll get back to this. Remember this.
This is a pool table, in case you're unfamiliar. You may have heard it called "Billiards". But if you know it as "Billiards" and not as "pool" then you are undoubtedly a snobby Brittish person, and wouldn't appreciate what I have to say anyway.
So I was looking at this pool table and I was sort of kind of halfway playing pool, and I was wondering whether it would be easier or harder if you added more pockets. Sure, you'd do away with the colored balls quicker, BUT you'd probably accidentally lose the white ball more often. Which sucks.
So I thought of putting holes between the holes:
And then I thought of putting holes in between THOSE holes:
Until finally, the sides are made of nothing but hole, and you just have an elevated platform and a little half-pipe surrounding it, like those gutters in bowling.
OR, and get this, like one of those infinity pools. (This is why you had to remember pools btw). You know, those pools that you can install on top of buildings and they look like there's water running off the edge of the roof and like you might accidentally swim out/off, but you won't because there's a gutter just off the edge of the roof and a few feet down to catch any water or people that might escape. Like that.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, would be an awesome pool game:
AND you would never have to call your corners/shots ever again. You'd just try to get the balls out. Like the rest of us who play pool and aren't assholes about it.
And you would have nothing to rest your hand on to aim. Ha. Ha.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Soup Ramblings
I am eating soup tonight! Not real soup, but powder-and-noodles-in-a-box soup.
It is going WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR in the microwave. Or rather, the microwave is going WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and my soup is hoping that it will be able to make it a full cycle around the microwave before the glass plate goes "CLUNK. FUCK YOU. NO, I DON'T SWING THAT WAY." Silly soup.
Today I burnt my tongue on soup. But that was real soup.
I got it from the cafeteria and everything.
Which I guess means it was questionable, but it wasn't powder-and-noodles-in-a-box soup. And I know this for a fact because the vegetables were saturated and there were no noodles, and also, it was potato soup. I don't think they sell potato soup in a box.
Anyway, my tongue got burnt and so I was mad at it for being so hot.
But I felt bad afterwards because it was really tasty.
Even if it did call itself Potato W/Ham, and it only really had one ham chunk.
And I was eating it really fast.
But in all fairness, if you wait for something to be cool enough to eat then it's always unpleasantly cold by the end of your mastication.
CAN you masticate soup? I always thought of that word applying to meats, and things that you had to REALLY dig into and slurp and suck and chew. Soup's pretty simple. That's why sick people and hospital patients eat it. Because when people are incapacitated, they suck at eating.
~*~
This box noodle soup isn't very yummy. It has a weird smell. And it's making my burnt taste buds feel weird/like they're on fire.
Fail.
Also, I like this song. It's my song of the week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_68ZvH4jdI
It is going WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR in the microwave. Or rather, the microwave is going WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and my soup is hoping that it will be able to make it a full cycle around the microwave before the glass plate goes "CLUNK. FUCK YOU. NO, I DON'T SWING THAT WAY." Silly soup.
Today I burnt my tongue on soup. But that was real soup.
I got it from the cafeteria and everything.
Which I guess means it was questionable, but it wasn't powder-and-noodles-in-a-box soup. And I know this for a fact because the vegetables were saturated and there were no noodles, and also, it was potato soup. I don't think they sell potato soup in a box.
Anyway, my tongue got burnt and so I was mad at it for being so hot.
But I felt bad afterwards because it was really tasty.
Even if it did call itself Potato W/Ham, and it only really had one ham chunk.
And I was eating it really fast.
But in all fairness, if you wait for something to be cool enough to eat then it's always unpleasantly cold by the end of your mastication.
CAN you masticate soup? I always thought of that word applying to meats, and things that you had to REALLY dig into and slurp and suck and chew. Soup's pretty simple. That's why sick people and hospital patients eat it. Because when people are incapacitated, they suck at eating.
~*~
This box noodle soup isn't very yummy. It has a weird smell. And it's making my burnt taste buds feel weird/like they're on fire.
Fail.
Also, I like this song. It's my song of the week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_68ZvH4jdI
Monday, January 3, 2011
GUESS WHAT!!!!
It is currently 2*F.
And by it, I mean outside.
and by * I mean degrees.
and by F I mean Fahrenheit
And by 2 I mean two. T.W.O. Tee, Double-you, Oh.
Funny, how that little asterisk looks more like a snowflake than anything right now.
I also enjoy how much the word Fahrenheit sucks to spell. It's not phonetic. At all. That would be Fair-in-height. But it's not. Because Fair-in-height would be used like this:
Renaissance Man 1: Miss Chauncey is looking rather stunning tonight, wouldn't you say, dear Roderick?
Renaissance Man 2 (Roderick): Quite, quite Mr. Grimsbury. Though I would never take her to marry.
Mr. Grimsbury: Prithee Mr. Roderick, why ever not? She is most fair-in-height.
Roderick: It's those heels Mr. Grimsbury. She is fair-in-height until you come across her in the garden barefoot as I have. Nay, she is much to short.
Or like this:
Angel handing out bodies to souls: Well, now that we've tabulated the points from the hopscotch contest and the winners have received the gift of grace, let's move on to the bear-wrestling tournament, which has decided height. Eleonore, you beat the shit out of that bear, so you have achieved a height of Outstanding. Elizabeth, you only had a few pretty bad scratches, so you'll be getting a height of Excellent. Emily, You managed to survive intact but you couldn't manage to kill the thing, so you get a height of Acceptable. And Ermilda.... well, you survived... so you get a height of Fair.
Elizabeth: It's alright Ermilda, you got more "chutzpa" than I did.
Ermilda: Yeah, I guess it's okay to get a Fair-in-height. Though I hate my name. I'm going to have terrible parents.
Sorry, no pictures today folks. I'm baaaack in college and my roommate is asleep and I couldn't wait to post this, because it wouldn't be 2*F forever.
And by it, I mean outside.
and by * I mean degrees.
and by F I mean Fahrenheit
And by 2 I mean two. T.W.O. Tee, Double-you, Oh.
Funny, how that little asterisk looks more like a snowflake than anything right now.
I also enjoy how much the word Fahrenheit sucks to spell. It's not phonetic. At all. That would be Fair-in-height. But it's not. Because Fair-in-height would be used like this:
Renaissance Man 1: Miss Chauncey is looking rather stunning tonight, wouldn't you say, dear Roderick?
Renaissance Man 2 (Roderick): Quite, quite Mr. Grimsbury. Though I would never take her to marry.
Mr. Grimsbury: Prithee Mr. Roderick, why ever not? She is most fair-in-height.
Roderick: It's those heels Mr. Grimsbury. She is fair-in-height until you come across her in the garden barefoot as I have. Nay, she is much to short.
Or like this:
Angel handing out bodies to souls: Well, now that we've tabulated the points from the hopscotch contest and the winners have received the gift of grace, let's move on to the bear-wrestling tournament, which has decided height. Eleonore, you beat the shit out of that bear, so you have achieved a height of Outstanding. Elizabeth, you only had a few pretty bad scratches, so you'll be getting a height of Excellent. Emily, You managed to survive intact but you couldn't manage to kill the thing, so you get a height of Acceptable. And Ermilda.... well, you survived... so you get a height of Fair.
Elizabeth: It's alright Ermilda, you got more "chutzpa" than I did.
Ermilda: Yeah, I guess it's okay to get a Fair-in-height. Though I hate my name. I'm going to have terrible parents.
Sorry, no pictures today folks. I'm baaaack in college and my roommate is asleep and I couldn't wait to post this, because it wouldn't be 2*F forever.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Tonight we're goin' har-har-ha-ha-ha-arddddd....
New years is cool because I get to be a psychopath around everyone I know for about an hour.
Not that it's really different than usual, it's just a little more accepted.
To put tonight into simple terms though, I felt more like Ke$ha tonight than I ever have in my life.
-I didn't get drunk.
-I didn't have a fedora.
-I didn't have my drunk-text on.
-I didn't take (all) my clothes off.
-The Boy definitely doesn't look like Mic Jagger.
HOWEVER, during/after all of the poppers and confetti spewed their contents into the fan and all over every surface in our living room, I rolled around in it and people covered me with shit and then I drank sparkling cider out of a fancy looking glass, and I have a picture of me looking like this:
(Remember when Ulla draw pictures by hand? Ulla draw this picture in paint because it's late...
-The Producers. Kind of. Ish.)
But The Boy isn't so fond of things being messed up so he went through and combed them all out of my hair like an ape looking for lil' baby bugs in its fur. He also doesn't like Ke$ha so I had to stop singing after the 3rd time through "We R Who We R"...
After which I moved on to "Sober girls around [you] they be ack-in like they drunk, they be ack-in like they drunk, ack-in like they dru-uh-unk."
But then I remembered that there was family around.
So... that stopped.
.......yeah.............
Anyway, to wrap up the night.....
So you know how I talked about our family gingerbread tradition?
We... have another holiday tradition.
On New Years, right after the ball drops and we finish going crazy, we return to the kitchen. Then we clear some space on the table and take out our delightful gingerbread creations. We set them gingerly upon the table and ooh and aahh at them in front of all of our guests and then take some pretty pictures.
And then, just when they're done admiring what a jolly good show we've put on and are just about done with it, we take out the mallet.
And we fucking smash them all to hell.
P.S. Dear 2011,
2010 rocked my goddamn world. You've got a large task ahead of you, but I have high expectations. I don't expect to graduate again, but I do expect that I should have a fun time in school and that I shall find employment within you. But you shall see, young Padiwan. It is just the beginning. Here. Have a rattle and a jack-in-the-box and a nap, and enjoy them while you can before some real shit goes down and you have real problems to deal with. Would you like a drink?
Not that it's really different than usual, it's just a little more accepted.
To put tonight into simple terms though, I felt more like Ke$ha tonight than I ever have in my life.
-I didn't get drunk.
-I didn't have a fedora.
-I didn't have my drunk-text on.
-I didn't take (all) my clothes off.
-The Boy definitely doesn't look like Mic Jagger.
HOWEVER, during/after all of the poppers and confetti spewed their contents into the fan and all over every surface in our living room, I rolled around in it and people covered me with shit and then I drank sparkling cider out of a fancy looking glass, and I have a picture of me looking like this:
(Remember when Ulla draw pictures by hand? Ulla draw this picture in paint because it's late...-The Producers. Kind of. Ish.)
But The Boy isn't so fond of things being messed up so he went through and combed them all out of my hair like an ape looking for lil' baby bugs in its fur. He also doesn't like Ke$ha so I had to stop singing after the 3rd time through "We R Who We R"...
After which I moved on to "Sober girls around [you] they be ack-in like they drunk, they be ack-in like they drunk, ack-in like they dru-uh-unk."
But then I remembered that there was family around.
So... that stopped.
.......yeah.............
Anyway, to wrap up the night.....
So you know how I talked about our family gingerbread tradition?
We... have another holiday tradition.
On New Years, right after the ball drops and we finish going crazy, we return to the kitchen. Then we clear some space on the table and take out our delightful gingerbread creations. We set them gingerly upon the table and ooh and aahh at them in front of all of our guests and then take some pretty pictures.
And then, just when they're done admiring what a jolly good show we've put on and are just about done with it, we take out the mallet.
And we fucking smash them all to hell.
P.S. Dear 2011,
2010 rocked my goddamn world. You've got a large task ahead of you, but I have high expectations. I don't expect to graduate again, but I do expect that I should have a fun time in school and that I shall find employment within you. But you shall see, young Padiwan. It is just the beginning. Here. Have a rattle and a jack-in-the-box and a nap, and enjoy them while you can before some real shit goes down and you have real problems to deal with. Would you like a drink?
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